With all the planning for the summer and next year, I'm thinking to myself.... What next?
Ugh, this question gives me butterflies in my stomach. When I think the stressful part is soon coming to an end, I realize that I'm wrong, and things are only gonna be worse. If I'm concerned with my project due-date right now, later on (maybe in 2 months) I'm gonna be concerned with staying or leaving. To lead or to follow. To try or to let go. To build or to watch it getting destroyed. And man, is it gonna get nasty watching it getting destroyed.
No, the decision part is not the hardest, it's having the strength to make it. I'm just looking for an end. An end? Yeah, an end to this confusion and unstability.
And I just realized that it might not be possible. Welcome to life, son, enjoy your stay.
I know life gets boring sometimes, so gotta spice it up before it gets out of control, no? I decided to try these new stress-free pills. It all started as a joke, but I guess I'm one type of person who takes her own jokes seriously. Muhahahaa.
The label showed the active ingredients to be all herby stuff, nothing chemical, all natural stuff. Cooool. But still, I went on googley-woogley and read the history of each herb. Hmm, got positive results. I decided to go for it :) To be honest, I wasn't that stressed, or in need for them, but I was curious to find out how they "manage" stress, just in case I ever need them.
Man oh man, that was creepy. I took the required dose at night, woke up in the morning, being ultimately blessed, I didnt have work that day, I only had classes to go to. Everything seemed normal to me, I went to my class 10 minutes early.... what?... say that again??... Yes, 10 minutes early. Woah, that was a record. I always walk in class 15 minutes late. By the time the class was done, I was sleeping, my face burried in my laptop. I slept for 2-hrs. And I must say, that was the best nap I had in my whole entire life. I actually went blank, can't recall I was dreaming either. I literally shut off for 2-hrs. I woke up only to find myself craving some more sleep.
I'm not sure how or why, but that must be related to the valerian-root in the pills. Some people are sensitive to that. I guess I'm one of them. It was a fun experience, I'd love to do it again.
Can I get a pill that wakes me up in May? Yeah, and on top of that, can I get a sub to manage my life while I'm off? Thanks!
There was a time when I used to believe in perfectionism. Things were easy to comprehend, life was cool and smoother, even though my inner battles never came to an end.
I thought time would bring the answers. But here we are, back to where we began. Maybe more confused than before.
