My Psyche

Enjoy It While It Lasts!

Thinking about all these people that once I associated with; from the acquaintances that I was blessed with their existence, to the friendships that lasted for a little bit more than what I expected, to the ones who left a remark big enough to make me wonder... I realized I should be thankful.

It's not true that friends are forever, but I believe we can make something out of the time they spend in our lives. It's true that they come and go, but see, they bring some emotions with them that they can't take back. Some experience, some adventure. There will always be that little thing that will link back to them. But that little thing may vanish one day...

So let's just say; enjoy it while it lasts!

posted by Bee @ 10:09 PM 1 comments

Sincere Pain?

It hurts me so much that someone can make me feel as crappy as I am feeling right now. Yes, people can do that to me.

I'm sorry if I couldn't ease your pain. I tried. And I failed. Well, you never gave me the chance anyway. But I still feel as crappy as never before. I feel bad. Bad!

I'm mad at myself. I don't know if that's just "over-caring", or so much "egocentrism" from my side? Am I in pain cause you're in pain, or cause I wasn't successful in relieving your pain? I'm so much mad at myself. Believe me, I would have cried if I was to see you cry, but I would cry even more for that uncertainty that I'm in... why am I in pain? Seriously.

posted by Bee @ 1:42 AM 0 comments

Too Much Work Will Eventually Kill Me!

I need to learn to say "Sorry, I don't think I can do it" more often. Because I overload myself with so much work and responsibilities, that I'm better off without.

Being a superwoman feels good, but who am I kidding in here? :) I need to take it easy on myself, a little bit more.

I need to sleep...!

posted by Bee @ 11:31 PM 0 comments

Some Random Emotions

I miss them. So much, that it makes me want to cry.

I'm acting like a wicked strong idiot, but I'm not. I'm heartbroken.

Life goes on, but I'm not sure for how long.

I won't demand it from you, but you can just offer it. I can't promise I'll take it, but I'm sure I won't be mean about it.

What do you want? Seriously. You're drifting apart. Isn't it worth some of your precious time to pause and think about it for a while? I know the answer isn't easy, I never said it is.

I decided to let go, anyway. I don't think you matter much to me anymore. You do what you do. I'm not gonna step on your way. And I'm sorry, just in case you think I owe you an apology, cause I don't want to owe you anything else from this moment on. You can do your apologies, too, but it's seriously over. I mean it. You'll remain some acquaintance, though.

Oh god, this is just a big mistake. *Sigh*

posted by Bee @ 2:18 AM 1 comments

Go Away!

What's up with stress? It seems to have found a new friend,.. me. That's the kind of people that I wouldn't want to know, so please go away!

Yes, it has been more than a week- 7 consecutive days, with a non-stop stress, all over the place. I need to get myself to relax. But HOW? I took a day off from work, and 2 from school. But that didn't help, cause simply I spent my time running some other errands, that were kinda past-due sort of thing.

So I tuck myself in bed, try to get myself to sleep. That's not working either. It takes at least 2 hours before I can get myself to finally pass out. Oh well. I keep having those disturbing thoughts, (no, not of me committing suicide) that stick to my head for the whole night, capable of waking me up if I was victorious enough to knock myself to sleep. Ughhh!

Milk? Yeah, I haven't tried that in a while. I should get myself a cup of milk and see how it goes.

I caught myself jotting down some thoughts (well, trying to release some stress), and I don't know if it helps or not, but I was able to sleep on that same day. Progress, eh? Coincidence? I would go with the latter.

posted by Bee @ 1:53 AM 0 comments